My Numbers Don't Matter: Logan Spaw

Logan Spaw graduated from Virginia Tech in 2015 with a major in Biology and a past lifetime spent on the softball diamond. Serving as the Hokies designated hitter after a sports related injury and her role as a catcher, Logan provides our MTTS girls with advice and reflection. Her career has led her to become a labor and delivery nurse in Kansas City, MO where she resides with her husband.

Of course there are many things I’m unhappy with about how my athletic career went. I am upset that we never made it past regionals. I am upset that we never hit the standards we had for ourselves. I’m upset we were held to such standards by other people. I’m upset that other people did/are/and will continue to profit off of those standards for young adults. And most of all I am upset that I didn’t realize that all of it I was going through was God’s work. I was persevering in His name. For a long time in my career I allowed other people to control my emotions in a negative way, until my Junior year when I let go. 

Obviously so many amazing things came from me playing Division one softball, would I go back and do it all again, yes. It taught me HARD life lessons I still use to this day. Will I allow my child to do it? I don’t know. At the end of the day, it was a sport, it was not my livelihood. Everyday we went to “work” and played hard for numbers on the scoreboard. Now, everyday, I go to work, and play hard everyday for peoples’ lives. I’ve said it before in my Instagram posts but delivering babies isn’t always happy. I thought I was having a bad day when I didn’t get put on the line up card, or when I went 0-3 and got pulled the next game... my bad days now are telling someone their baby is no longer alive and comforting them, without words.

I believe our mindsets need to change about college sports. I get they’re incredible to watch and be a part of but we must remember God’s priorities. These are kids playing a sport they grew up loving and stuck in a constant pull. Yes, there are many who are go above and beyond expectations; they are successful in building relationships, reaching academic superiority, and meeting the goals set by those above them. But I encourage you to remember most don’t. Next time you’re watching college sports on TV remember one or more of those athletes is struggling with anxiety, depression and fear of not being good enough. Society needs to learn to be okay with failing. There’s a difference between failing and laziness. 

My husband is the one who showed me that my weaknesses are truly strengths. It’s okay that I think too deeply and get anxious about certain things. But I have learned to channel my anxiety into effort. I strive to continue my conversation with God everyday and love people as He would. I don’t need to prove myself to anyone. My numbers don’t matter. The fact I even played softball doesn’t matter. Loving my family, friends, coworkers, and my job MATTERS. 

If I had to give advice to girls in NCAA sports, now. Just remember “who gives a f***”. Nobody. Enjoy the game and your time traveling the country doing what you love. Do your homework and continue fighting for who you want to be tomorrow.

Follow Logan on her instagram @logan_ruth19