Francesca Bains: Show Yourself Grace

Hi! My name is Francesca. I am a kindergarten teacher for Charlotte Mecklenburg schools. I attended Queens University of Charlotte where I got my bachelors degree in Elementary Education. While attending Queens I was able to compete for the swim team and help bring home three team national titles. 

My swimming career started when I was just five years old. I was lucky enough to follow my three older siblings into the water and swim with them for 13 years. Growing up from a swimming family, where all six of the kids swam, my transition from water into the classroom was difficult to say the least.

For the longest time I thought my identity and my worth came from being a swimmer. My mindset was that swimming was my life. While the sport helped me pay for an education, gave me unbelievable friendships, and taught me many life lessons, I had to quickly learn that I was more than just a swimmer. I was a human being, a person, a child of God before anything else. For many months I struggled with what my purpose was. Since middle school my mindset was that my purpose was to score points for the team, to drop time in the mile, to help lead my team to win national championships. Thankfully, I am currently in a profession where it didn’t take me long to realize that my purpose is to be a good human being all while helping shape tiny humans into the future leaders of our worlds all while showing them unconditional love and support.

I also had to learn that working out for 4 hours a day is impossible when you’re working 40+ hours a week. After swimming for 17 years I was ready for a change but, I was unprepared for a life outside of swimming. For once in my life I got to know myself without the sport of swimming in the picture. I began to put myself first and figure out how to really love me for me. I am lucky enough to have an amazing family and support system that were able to guide me through one of the hardest transitions of my life so far.

For anyone else that is a recent retiree of a sport, or about to transition into the “real world” as my Grandfather would say, here are a few pieces of advice…

1. No matter if you’re in the sport or out of the sport remember to love yourself and put yourself before anything else. You are worthy, you are important, and you have a purpose.

2. Show yourself Grace. I felt like I was becoming a new person after 17 years as a swimmer and now the world was before me.  It was overwhelming.  Seek and ask for help-from those you trust/love and/or from a counselor. Change, even when good, is hard. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Show yourself Grace and give it time

3. Eat dessert first. Dig into that ice cream, have those cookies, eat that cake. It’s good for the soul